Fine Line (Levi x Reader) RQ

You hated the way he made you feel. The constricting in your chest, the shortness of breath, the relentless pounding of what felt like a hammer against your rib cage – it was like that every time he passed you by, his iron gaze raking across your form with distaste. You despised that feeling, and you despised him for making you feel it.

And yet you would always catch yourself staring, unable to tear your gaze away every time he entered a room, your skin flushed pink. It only made you angrier – at him, at yourself. You were a soldier, for heaven’s sake. You had no time to be mooning over men, especially your superior officer.

But most of all, you hated the way he teased you, provoked you into lashing out. He would only smirk coldly as you took the bait time and time again, though you knew he only did it to incite a reaction from you. You cursed yourself silently every day for not being able to resist his poisoned words disguised in honeyed tones.

Levi faced you now, with that cold smirk on his face, grey eyes narrowed in a glare. He raised his fists, sinking into a shallow stance.

“Show me what you've learned, brat.”

You felt your anger flare. Who was he calling ‘brat’?!

“I’m not a cadet anymore, Levi,” you growled, knowing full well that the use of his name rather than his title would annoy him to no end. “You have no right to call be ‘brat’.”

“Then prove it. Show me what you can do.”

“Gladly.”

You lunged forward, intending to strike his left side which he had left unguarded. You should have known better.

He saw right through you, smirking as your fist sailed past him, no more than slightly ruffling the fabric his crisp white shirt. You staggered forward, your balance compromised as your punch hit only thin air.

As you struggled to remain upright, you felt a hand grasp your upper arm, pulling you back onto your feet. Scowling you turned to throw another punch, only to find yourself in a tight headlock, unable to move, fingers clawing uselessly at the brawny arm that held you.

“Tch,” he exclaimed. “Weak.”

You felt yourself grow red and clawed more desperately, managing to draw blood as your nails raked across the flesh of his forearm. He winced, but only held you tighter, pressing against your windpipe until you were heaving and gasping for breath.

“You call yourself a soldier?” he hissed, his grip ever tightening.

His words echoed in your ears. Useless. Pathetic. A burden to humanity. You could feel tears begin to form in the corners of your eyes.

“You are no soldier, just a frightened child who should never have left your mother’s arms.”

You stopped struggling suddenly, surprising him, and with a mighty heave you pushed him off of you, sending him staggering backwards. You clenched your fists and your jaw as you stared him down with murderous intent, yet you could not stop the tears that rolled down your cheeks, leaving tracks in the dust and dirt that had settled on your skin.

He seemed taken aback by your response, reaching out to you. “[Name]…”

But you did not stay to listen, turning on your heal and storming off, wiping the tears from your eyes as you went.

Levi simply stood on the empty field, hand still raised, blinking in astonishment as he watched you go. The hand dropped to his side and he sighed.

“I took it too far again, didn’t I?”

*    *    *

You attempted to stifle your sobs as a gentle knock sounded at your door.

“Go away.”

Whoever the visitor was, they ignored you, and the door swung inward to reveal Levi, his usual bored expression plastered across his face. You ground your teeth, resisting the urge to punch him then and there.

“[Name], I-”

“Oh it’s ‘[Name]’ now? I thought it was ‘brat’,” you cut him off, coldly.

Levi sighed, closing the door and taking a seat on the edge of your bed. You backed away, eyeing him warily, until your back hit the wall.

“[Name]…”

There is was again. Since when was he in the habit of calling you by your name? You shifted slightly closer, watching his face carefully. He seemed tired, more so than usual. And was that regret you saw in his eyes?

“Do you hate me?” he asked, not meeting your eyes.

“Yes,” you replied softly, without hesitation.

He paused. “I’m sorry to hear that. It was never my intention.”

Your anger flared once again. “Oh? And what was your intention, may I ask? To make me feel like shit?”

“No.” He met your [e/c] gaze for the first time, desperately trying to convey what he was trying so hard to tell you. “I pushed you hoping it would drive you to become stronger, to prove me wrong. And it worked, didn’t it? To an extent at least.”

You remained silent, glancing away quickly as you felt your cheeks heat up, the tears unwillingly returning.

“You’re strong but… not strong enough…”

“Not strong enough for what?” you burst out, tears flowing freely once more. “I trained for years to make it here, to help humanity, and what am I greeted with? ‘You’re not good enough’. What don’t I have?”

“The will to survive.”

You fell into silence, staring at your Captain.

“You’re strong, confident, determined to help humanity in any way that you can but… You’re willing to throw your life away for that cause.”

“Isn't that what we soldiers do? We pledged to give our lives for humanity, offered our beating hearts to the cause.”

Levi sighed, turning to face you and grasping your hands in his. “Every human life is precious, [Name]. Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good, but there is nothing I hate more than a pointless death. Promise me your death won’t be without meaning. Promise me that you will fight, that you’ll survive.”

He pulled you into a tight embrace, surprising you with his tenderness.

“You have to survive. For humanity’s sake… and for mine.”

You returned the embrace, your breath catching in your throat. “I promise,” you whispered against his neck. “And… I guess I don’t hate you…”

He chuckled as he held you closer. “I’m glad to hear that.”